Day10 -Dear Me
By J. Smith Kirkland
Dear 14 year old me,
I have been asked to write you this letter to address your fears, concerns, questions, and insecurities. As I look back at the photos of you, and think about those days, I slowly began to realize it was with great self esteem and disregard for the opinions of others that you travelled through the world. This attitude is clearly reflected by the clothes you wore in photos from those days. “Is that what people wore then?” someone younger than myself asked me. “No. Just me,” I replied.
Perhaps it is being raised by matriarchs of the strong southern woman kind that gives you such balance in your life. They certainly encourage you to pursue whatever dream you decide to chase. Their only expectations of you are to be kind, and to bring them their flowers while they are alive, not after they are gone. To know you are loved must surely be a part of why you don't require approval from everyone in order to be happy. And you do seem quite happy.
We both know you figured out that you were a little different by age six. That's when you learned people had so many rules, and some of them expected the rest of us to play by theirs. You saw no need to change yourself, their rules were their problem, not yours. Maybe that why now, at the age when peer acceptance is so important to many of your friends, you seem rather oblivious to disapproval. You think you are not bullied or made fun of, but maybe you wouldn't know if you were, because you really don't care. You and your friend are carrying balloons and playing kazoos on a walk-a-thon. The guys that popped them were probably saying mean things, but the way your friend jumped when they popped was funny, and you probably would have got tired of the balloon by the end. So your fun day was not damaged in the least. I can tell you assuredly, looking back, your kazoos were probably way more annoying to those guys than them popping the balloons was to the two of you.
I am supposed to be reassuring you things will get better and stuff like that, but you really are enjoying your life. I hate to tell you that in the future there will be some self doubt. Nothing brought on by external forces. Mainly your own frustration with not meeting up to your own rules. Yes, you will have your own rules. Be kind. That's the main one. And you will beat yourself up sometimes when you fail at that one. But I still think it is a good rule.
Now those clothes. I am not going to lie. You will never not think that big suede fringed watch band is not cool. Well, cause it is. So is the derby. And you know that show with the crazy doctor in the time machine? That's only going to get cooler. I wish you could have some of the t-shirts I have now.
Oh yeah, you know how a lot of your friends are talking about what they are going to do with their lives? I know your ideas change constantly. Don't worry about it. Oh wait. You don't. I still don't. You are going to do a lot of amazing things you have never even thought of yet, and a few you have. Remember that girl that told you “you will never do that when you grow up.” She's an idiot. I know, your exact words. And I did it.
OK. I am supposed to be reassuring you how everything is better when you are older. There are some bad things, I will be honest. But you know what gets me through them? Remembering you, and all those people that taught you that you can do anything you set you mind to. And that you are loved. So instead of me reassuring you. I want to thank you for reminding me that I was you. I am still you, just older and fatter. Sorry about the fat part. You might want to watch out for that in your late thirties. But other than that, enjoy the ride.
The Prompt
Write a letter to your 14-year-old self. Address that young person’s fears, concerns, questions, and insecurities. Offer reassurance based on what you now know as an adult.
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